I HATE DEATH!

Death is really the thing and juncture that I’m afraid of. The thing that I should say you can’t stop and even change. It is really on a big “why” why we also get old and die. Why we can’t be just in the age we want? Sometimes I’m in the theory that everyone’s purpose in life is to die. Moreover thinking these things will sometimes make you fool since whatever swapping of situations you’ll do still death is there.

Well I don’t have any sickness that you think could be the reason why I’m tackling these things. Even now, my mind is like a new born baby that could ask billions of questions, that is why death thingy is still questionable for me. I want to live without limit of time and everyone might want that also. I really hate the fact that there is death. Well if only I could make my own world.
Death could be peaceful, bloody and of course mysterious. And if ever I’ll die today or tomorrow I’ll chose death that is peaceful since it is a kind of death that I think fine so far in line with this matter. Well to die isn’t fine huh? And I don’t have any key also to choose cases on how am I going to die. This is just a matter of putting oneself to do and fix things everyday that scares you.

It is also bad that the people who are close to you died without saying all the things they want to utter and of course, we might the one wasn’t able to say so. Sigh… I’m getting far.

Maybe living life to the fullest is the best move while young and alive. Sometimes I want to do things that will make me happy but I’m worrying since I love to do things that are bad. I mean bad things at some point will make you satisfied (hahaha). It’s really hard to do good things right? But to make things sure you really have to do it so that you’ll go to heaven or the opposite way.

I may sound preachy but that’s what I see and conclude with these things. I don’t know still, why we really have to die. Why we can’t just live and enjoy life without pointing the good and bad. I’m hoping that there is no heaven and hell since it is the reason why we are worrying things.

But as a whole we can’t really deny the fact that life is always connected to death. And it’s constant.


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ANG MUNDONG PUNO NG BAKIT

Ang lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay may katanungan, na sa tingin ko ay masasagot lamang ng isang? Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung ang makakasagot sa tanong ko ay isang tao, bagay o hayop. Hindi ko rin alam kung masasagot mo ako ngayon, bukas, susunod na araw, taon, dekada o siglo. Pero mas mabuti ng huwag ka ng sumagot (Joke lng…) Hindi ko rin alam kung tama ba o mali para maniwala ako sa sasagutin mo.Hindi ko rin alam kung yun na nga ba ang tamang sagot sa mga tanong ko? hindi ko rin alam kong ikaw ba at ako ang nag-uusap. Ang alam ko lang na ako at ikaw ay magkaiba. Ikaw ay ikaw at ako ay ako.

Para malaman mo at ng mga kaibigan mo, na maaring hindi ko naman kaibigan, ang maikling sulat na ito ay puno ng mga katanungan na sa tingin ko ay pilit mong sasagutin para sa akin, sayo at sa ating lahat nlg ,para masaya. Sana lng ay masagot mo ng one subject and one predicate lang. at Para mas makaintindi akong mabuti sagutin mo nlg ng isang salita( peace… ayoko kong mag-away tayo)… Sagutin mo nlg kahit one milyon words lng para naman hindi ka mahirapan. Pero kung gusto mo talagang makatulong sa akin di tulungan mo ko syempre! Kung tamad kang magbasa nito ngayon… di basahin mo nlg ngayon para tapos na. Konti lng naman ang mga katanungan ko.

Actually assignment to binigay ng lola ko sagutin ko daw para sa lolo ko kasi binigay ng nanay ko sa kanya kaya naman pinapasagot ni tatay sa akin(joke dinamay ko lng sila para kumpleto ang larong bahay-bahayan). Well sa totoo lng, ako lng mag-isa ang nakaisip nito hindi na ako nangdamay baka magalit sa akin ang maykapal.

Ok para masagot mo na ang mga tanong ko, at para maunawaan mo lahat ng itatanong ko kumuha ka na ng ballpen at lapis di kaya tape recorder para masagot mo talaga ng maayos. Kaibigan tara usap tayo… konti lng naman ehhh kung kasing bilis mo ang pagtakbo Ni Lidia de Vega(kung hindi mo to kilalala research nlg sa net.) mabilis mo rin tong matatapos.

Bakit ba may luha na lumalabas sa ating mga mata kung tayoy nasasaktan at umiiyak? Bakit ba ngumingiti o kaya humahalakhak kapag tayo ay masaya? Bakit ba may pangit? Sana puro nlg maganda ang nakikita natin(para artista tayo lahat walang audience). Bakit ba may mahirap? Bakit hindi nlg mayaman lahat? Bakit ba may masama at mabuting bagay? Bakit may babae at lalaki?

Kamusta naman ang bakla at tomboy? Bakit ba may bata at matanda? Bakit ba may bobo at matalino? Bakit may malamig at mainit? Bakit may malaki at maliit? Bakit may mabango at mabaho? Bakit ung iba may nunal iba wala? Bakit may abnormal tsaka normal? Bakit may maputi at maitim? Bakit may payat at mataba? Bakit may buhay at patay? Bakit may prostitutes at call boys? Bakit ba may nanay at tatay? Pati narin kapatid? Bakit may langit at impyerno? Bakit may tubig at lupa? Bakit may maliwanag at madilim? Bakit may mabilis at mabagal? Bakit may masarap at masakit? Bakit matigas at malambot? Bakit may matangkad at pandak? Bakit may malinis at marumi? Bakit may masipag at tamad?

Bakit may magaling at di marunong? Bakit may tuwid at kulot? Bakit may bulaklak at dahon? Bakit may busog at gutom? Bakit may matamis at mapaet? Bakit may tahimik at maingay? Bakit may asukal at asin? Bakit may makapal at manipis? Bakit my peke at totoo? Bakit may nangloloko at naloloko? Bakit may tanong at sagot? Bakit may lapis at ballpen? Bakit my bungi at may ipin? Bakit bulag,pipi at bingi? Bakit may kamay at paa? Bakit may matagal at madali? Bakit gusto ko nag magmadali? Kasi tamad nako? Gusto ko nang mtapos to bakit? Kasi ayokong magalit ka sakin? Bakit? Kasi ayokong mag-away sa walang kwentang sulat na to? Bakit wala tong kwenta? Kasi gusto ko lng try magsulat nag walang kwentang sulat, bakit? Kasi gusto ko.haaaaay….

\haayy, masarap pa la ang feeling ng hindi ka nag-iisip. Alang magawa at gusting may gawin kaya ito ang aking ginawea dahil ala naman akong magawa. Sige poh Ingat.( biogesic alang hapdi sa tiyan.


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Ang Buhay Ko Noong Kami Pa...

As an old cliché goes, experience is the best teacher. But does it really helped in every aspect in life especially in wise decision-making? In my case, I should say that one doesn’t have to be a veteran in a specific field just to rationalize everything.

I am not an expert in this so-called thing where everybody goes extreme and sometimes became crazy and blind-- this aspect we call love. Yes, in my 18 years of existence in this world, I’ve never been in love—but not until someone came in an unexpected moment. Studying in this university, I never thought that my heart would beat for a classmate and at the same time, a close friend.
I just found myself one night, engrossed with her thoughts. I can’t even sleep because all kinds of doubts and worries jumble in my mind. I know I really felt something for her ever since but I can’t bear to destroy our friendship if ever I would have the courage to tell her what I really feel. I’m also thinking that she might just laugh at me because I might sound so awkward. I never tried courting anybody before and I really do not know how it feels to be busted or to hear a sweet ‘yes’. Nevertheless, my fervor love victoriously ruled over me and I decided to tell her everything whatever the consequences maybe.

It was September 14, 2007 when I surprised the world with my courage and conquest. Our department had a victory party after the successful show we had in school. I really could not explain the way I feel that night because my heart was beating faster, my whole body was trembling and I was really nervous because I don’t know what to expect. But I was determined that I would not end this night without saying a word to her.

My classmates decided to have an over night in school during that time and I did not hesitate to join them because I was hoping that we could talk. I went to my apartment and fix myself, spray some sweet scents and made sure that I looked good. When I went back to school, I did not see her and I worried that she might not stay overnight. But all the worries I felt were suddenly replaced by delight when I heard her voice outside the office. When she entered the office, I did not have a second thought to hold her hand and asked her if we could talk. She was shocked and confused for a moment but she gave a nod.

We talked at the bleachers outside the office. The whole time I was saying my words, I was really shaking. Our conversation went smoothly and I couldn’t believe that I said everything I kept inside. All the more, I was also startled to know that all this time, we share the same feelings. She told me that she also liked me and she appreciated everything I’ve done for her. That was the happiest day of my life—I won over my shyness and I won her heart.
Even if sometimes our relationship is being put to a test, and we almost gave up, I really learned so many things. I learned that being a greenhorn or an inexperienced in this field, is never an excuse to fight for what you believe is right. After months of exchanging sweet nothings and senseless fights, we call-off our relationship. But we still managed to make it up and acknowledged each other’s weaknesses and strength.

We will be celebrating our fifth monthsary this Feb.14 and believe it or not, this would be my very first valentine date to the very first woman who made my heart beat. Again, I don’t know what to do yet but I would make it the best day for the two of us.

This is actually my first university diary which was published in our student publication last year during the valentine edition. Unfortunately this tale also finished and ended a year now. A part of my past that I somewhat treasured though I got bruises in my heart. Though we had a short time together, I’m still thankful that she somehow showed her care and loved me for who I am.

Then, I just posted this kasi alang magawa. Naisip ko lng ang OA2x pala ng pag-ibig. Pero ok lang naman ang maging OA habang bata pa, kasi sa huli pag matanda ka na, wala kang moments na pweding mong isipin at pagtawanan. At tsaka sa babaeng minsang minahal ako at sinaktan ng todo salamt pa rin sa experience. hehehe


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KNOWING "EMO"

Black hair with bangs cut straight across the forehead, wearing heavy slacks, often too tight and short with clunky black shoes – one look at this group of people then you will know what group is this. YES! They were the so called “EMO”.

As of now when you walk along the road you will see different kind of groups. Like hip-hop, punk, fashionista, kikay’s and different group of people with dissimilar style of clothing and personalities. I came up with the idea to know some of this group of people. Because of my curiosity and since my teacher assigned me to look for an interesting topic.

I interviewed some of the so called group “EMO” to know some of the things that maybe ask by many addressed to them. I chose these group because they can be easily identify by their strange yet cute outfits.

According to the EMO’s, EMO is short call for Emotional. This is a type of subculture loosely rooted around in its own distinct style. It can be EMO in music, fashion, family and EMO to the society. In terms of the physical appearance, some defined EMO as a fashion trend only.

How does the EMO look?

EMO clothing is typically black and is mixed with smaller amounts of stunningly bright colors. While EMO hair is mostly black but some put highlights color on it. Hair is mostly favor one eyed hair cuts because some believes that hairstyle will look as lack of self esteem, On the other hand male EMO will easily identified in such a way that they mostly wear tight pants with white or silver belt which small t-shirts are common to them. Spiky black shoes and thick black eye glasses can be seen also. In addition eyeliner and piercing are also common but not necessary.


What’s with the EMO?

EMO are recognized covering themselves with their own bangs where some says that it simply means that they are broken and they are lack of self –esteem. Commonly in the internet, you will see that EMO take pictures ridiculously out of the ordinary photographic angles. They enjoy taking pictures that is one side of their face showing that as if they are ashamed on what they are. Just because of their hair cut, people believe that EMO has one eye.

In an article worked by Oscar Wilde who was an Irish playwright, novelist, poet, and author of short stories, EMO themselves may not be entirely sure of their sex. Many of the EMO called and expressed this by saying they are bisexual. In contrast to popular belief and sources, that is not mean that it is just a fashion trend but they cannot just decide weather they are male or female.


According to Ivan Homer Viason a second year Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management (BSHM) of NORSU who styles himself as an EMO, he agreed that some of the EMO are bisexual in such a way that they are comfortable to express and share the things with the same sex. He also added that you can also observe it in the internet where their pictures are kissing with same sex.

In contrast, Jay Mark B. Timtim a third year EMO and Medical Dental Nursing Assistant (MDNA) of NORSU reacted that it depends upon the person if he has an identity problem. He added that there are some EMO that is bisexual but not all. Timtim define EMO that is not only a fashion trend but being true as an individual. He is emotional in terms of music, love life and to her parents. He stressed that he usually wear white as for a hidden EMO.


According to Oscar Wilde it is 100 % true that being EMO commits self-harm, writing poems, depressed and identifying one’s self as bisexual. Whereas Viason said that it is true that EMO’S are committing suicide to the point that they cannot handle anymore the emotions they feel which some says that it is a brain problem because of being emotional. While there are many characteristics of EMO subculture that should first finished to describe them correctly. According to Wilde, EMO are also vegetarians and no one knows why they are like that. EMO also do not follow “sex” lifestyle which also known as “Staight Edge” where they refuse to drink, smoke, eat or have sex (including masturbation).

Well for me EMO are okay to because everyone has its own way of expressing oneself and probably its their best avenue to express for what they are.One more thing,expressing oneself in different ways is a constant thing that may perform by individual, living to certain place. Like the so called EMO they have their own approach and manner on how to express their selves. They have the styles of clothing, gist in their own minds and implication in life. Therefore everyone has the freedom to express each self in its own little way that may describe us an individual. EMO is one of the examples being an individual who has own styles and avenue living in this world.






SOURCES: http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oGkwMAQeBH3ZUAFdhXNyoA?p=all+about+OSCAR+WILDE+contradictions+about+emo&y=Search&fr=yfp-t-501&ei=UTF-8&fp_ip=PH&rd=r1&meta=vc%3Dph
NORSU students.


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NOT A SPECIAL DAY

November 1- a special day for most of the Filipinos. Busy for celebrating the All Soul’s Day .Offices were closed, traffic in highways, big and annoying voices from vendors selling candles, smells of malagkit rice cooked in dissimilar kinds, and of course ang di mahulugang karayom na sementeryo sa dami ng tao.

Most of my classmates asked why I didn’t go home. Ang iba naman tinanong ako kung wala ba akong patay na sisindihan sa sementeryo.Bakit nga ba?. Sigh… All Soul’s Day isn’t a special day for me. Of course I have reasons to that and maybe some would say that I’m disrespecting them, as well those souls. Just nothing! If I really have to go home and make some rituals in the cemetery, for whom I’ll do that?.Oo naman meron kaming patay sa pamilya para bisitahin. But I just don’t like.

I mean, ung bibisitahin ko sa sementeryo ay mga bongo at butong inuood na ng mga namatay?... it is still pointless for me. Well I’m not saying that people should do what I’m doing. Besides people can show their means to those souls by praying in their respective houses. Like some, they really go home though it’s far from where they are staying and spending much fare. Well it’s their choice anyway to some that has money. Anyways, I really don’t want to discuss it here and one more thing I don’t want to offend and argue to some. This is just what I view with this thing.

This morning actually and until now I’m receiving texts from my contacts “happy haloween” and “kumusta imu kalagkalag.” Sigh… I feel bored but not stressful. I’m Just facing in the computer while blogging the whole afternoon. Still it isn’t that bad yet.

Actually I’m just waiting to a friend since he invited us to be in their Haloween disco party in their baranggay. But still I’m in a doubt if I’ll go since my officemates especially our EIC (hehehe churi na gud) whose here in the office right now isn’t fun of disco thingy and I guess he is not feeling well. But I hope they will hehehe.(laagan man gud ko).

Well its eve already so maybe this day will just past without something special. Others maybe be hectic but for me, it’s an ordinary day that made me a little annoyed since offices are closed.


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