I love you but I hate you at the moment.

It’s been a long time that I am on this sense. You made me feel that I am unimproved and selfish son. I am uncertain if I am indeed or maybe just oblivious if ever I am. I would be stupid if I won’t admit that I have anger and displeasure from such disheartening words you have thrown. But the fact is, I am upset and offended. I may have a childish heart and low tears as my age, but I felt unused as your son.

I hate you because you’re not considering how it feels like to be pressured for such obligations. I hate you because I never heard a single thank you from the efforts I’ve done which you always consider as small things though all of it is from my sweats. I hate you for not saying sorry which technically you have to. I hate you because you are wise and always right. I hate you because you’re digging into my mind that I owe you my whole life since the day you brought me into life. I hate you because you are not listening whenever we have arguments and it’s always you that should only keep talking

I hate you because until now you don’t have trust in me. I hate you because you think I am insensitive and I do not have the right to be emotional. I hate you because you are not respecting my decisions. I hate you because you still treat me as your little boy and I always have to say yes.

I hate you because you make me feel guilty for treating you this way. I hate you because now you don’t call or text and it should be me to take the first move. I hate it because I feel being loved conditionally. I hate it because I know that I cannot give back all the hard works from my wants and needs you have given me. I hate you because you expect too much from me. Of all, I hate you because you made me feel that I am only your son who does not have the right to throw my sentiments over a mother.

I don’t hate you because you are my mother and you have given me everything when I was still dependent. But what I hate most is at the end of this, it will be you who will still be the triumph and I am a failure.


I'm sorry.


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