All I Want This Christmas

“All I want this Christmas is to hear them the words that I seek. Maybe if that would happen I’ll be the happiest person who celebrated the Christmas.”

With prideful parents, caring and loving words is unexpected. Parents that prefers to hide feelings rather than expressing it for the betterment. At some point I should say that my parents are acting that way. I’m not into conclusion that they’re bad or complaining that I should have other parents. May be its just so unfair on my part that for how many years, Im always taking actions like saying “I love you and I miss you” to them, and yet replies from those words I uttered wasn’t answered as it should be.

My apology, if I may sound OA with these little senseless sentiments. But I seek those words for how many years which until now its “zero.” Hundreds of questions pierced into my mind why they acting with such approach. They are shy and feel awkward?! But they are my parents and im their son!. If they really shy to say it personally, I have phone! And they have also!?

Sigh… I always end up my text messages putting I love you words many times and years. But replies from them like “ok”, and some time the word “hehe”. I just laugh with it but painful on my part.

I even opened these approaches to my friends already and most of their advice is for me to accept that my parents are like that.

Haaaaay… Do they want me to die first before they speak out those wonderful words to me? Sometimes im longing that I’ll die for hours only, so I’ll see and hear them what they cannot utter to me, but of course, wake up again from the coffin and gladly say to them “those words are wonderful Nay!, Tay! And I waited so long to hear such words.”

But unlike any other parents, they completely provide my needs and they are somehow kind for my expensive wants. I know that they loved me too, in contrast from what I am thinking. But what truly matters for me is expressing love not only by giving stuffs like money and branded clothes every time I asked for it. Well anyways they know me also as an ambitious one, that’s why they’re thinking that giving stuffs that I want is enough.

Another thing, I didn’t hear them saying that they are proud of me. Im thinking that they have a point also because im not that yet to be proud off, since I haven’t done things that could meet their standards yet and what they want me to be. As one very big reason, I can’t make it this March also. huhuhuhu. I have lots of failures that could take them to treat me in cold means.

All I want this Christmas is to hear from them the words that I seek. Maybe if that would happen I’ll be the happiest person who celebrated the Christmas But if they can’t still I’ll wait for the New Year.

I won’t wish to Santa Clause, instead I’ll pray to God.

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